I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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