look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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