Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
