I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
