She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize