I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize