I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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