i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
