if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
