i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
