I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
they need to just BURY HIM!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
