sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
