I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
