fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Green mimosas i think yes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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