i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
