I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
