never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
