Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
