he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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