Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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