Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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