I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
