Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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