They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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