There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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