i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
