can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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