real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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