what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
