very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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