I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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