the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize