when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Houston, we have a blender
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
