thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
