Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
