we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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