i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
