I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
