You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
