i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
