so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
