Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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