My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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