Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We left an ass print on the piano.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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