My balls are so social today.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
