Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize