maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
