I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize