epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
