his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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