i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
