Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
