i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
