Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
