how can u be prego again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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